


Closing In, Suffocating Us Both

by SheWhoWalksUnseen



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Angst Fluff and Bed Sheets, Brotp, Claustrophobia, Crying, Gen, Guilt, I Don't Even Know, Insomnia, Marco is more unnerved than he'd like to admit, Night Terrors, Post-Storm The Castle, Star and Marco need to work out issues, The guilt is eating Star alive, This started out as me venting feelings through this episode, Those two sentences basically describe my life, What's up with the bed sheets?, and now it's become a story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-25 05:43:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4948834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWhoWalksUnseen/pseuds/SheWhoWalksUnseen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco can't get over his newfound phobia and Star feels like she is going to bubble over due to the words she's keeping bottled up inside.</p><p>Either way, the two friends need to clear the air, no matter how often they declare that they're "fine."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closing In, Suffocating Us Both

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of needed to write something vent-worthy after Storm the Castle and the new Gravity Falls and after things happening in my life recently. I haven't seen much platonic Star/Marco relationships as of late on tumblr so here's some good old breaking the ice for you.

 Jerking forward, he flailed his arms before pressing his palms earnestly up against the lowering glass ceiling. By now it was brushing the top of his brown hair and his breathing was shallow, shaky, as he shut his eyes tightly. It was pushing down with ungodly strength that he as a mere teenage human did not have and he didn't want to think about what would occur once he lost his hold.

 

 He couldn't let go. He couldn't let it slip, he couldn't let himself be crushed by this glass mass aiming only to squash him as if he were just a bug under someone's shoe. An annoying little pest who wouldn't give up.

 

 Cold laughter echoed around the hall as his palms burned, as he let out a quiet cry of pain. He knew that laugh. He couldn't place the name as of this moment due to his preoccupation with the glass ceiling, but he knew that he knew whoever was mocking him. And he definitely despised them.

 

_"You're a disappointment."_

 

 The words were said almost lazily and while they didn't sting as much as they could have, something about the tone they were spoken in irked him to no end. They made him want to charge at whoever was taunting him, whoever had put him inside this glass room with no way out, and _was it just him or were the walls starting to close in too?_

 

 It was definitely growing harder to breathe by the second. He cried out once more as the glass shoved downward, his knees nearly giving out and failing him right there and then. His back screamed for the torture to cease, pained from struggling to hold up the immense weight for so long.

 

  _"It makes me wonder why we're even friends."_

 

 This was a different voice. He knew the speaker, obviously female, and for some reason this caused him to flinch. This insult hurt much worse than the other, and they almost sounded...annoyed with him.

 

 But what had he done wrong? He was being held here against his will and he couldn't even remember why because everything ached and he just wanted to get _out -_

 

 Everything was closing in on the brunette. The pressure building up, consuming his insides, was almost agonizing. His hands trembled violently as he sank closer to the floor, a soft pleading sound escaping his lips and he screwed his eyes shut tighter than before. He was being squeezed and shoved into a smaller and smaller space, and he felt as if his lungs were going to burst because it was all so wrong and he couldn't do anything about it.

 

 He felt so helpless.

 

 He had to get out.

 

 He had to free himself, he had to breathe, he _needed to breathe, HE COULDN'T BREATHE and the walls were closing in tighter than ever -_

 

 "Marco? Marco!"

 

 The teenager shot upright in bed, gasping for air and drenched in sweat. His bedsheets had long since fallen away from his damp skin, hanging haphazardly off the side of the bed. Star Butterfly, who had been shaking her friend only moments prior to now, stumbled back out of mixed worry and confusion. The confusion quickly faded once she realized how frightened the boy looked before he took in his surroundings, though.

 

 "Marco! Are you alright?" The blonde rushed back to her friend's side, her stomach churning as she saw how pale Marco had become. He clearly wasn't okay and looked almost dazed once he sucked in a shaky breath.

 

 "I...Star?" He glanced around, blinking slowly for a moment. It had only been a nightmare. There were no glass walls, no cold chuckles filling the room. It was only him and Star in his bedroom in their pajamas.

 

 Despite the relief that washed over the boy at the realization, he still felt queasy. He knew it had been real not too long ago, that he had actually been close to becoming a Diaz pancake if his best friend hadn't stepped in to save him.

 

 "I heard you yelling in your sleep," Star explained quietly, wringing her hands. Marco didn't miss how she clutched her wand in her left hand like a lifeline (that black-and-yellow star emblem on the front caused him to look away quickly as memories of the previous day's events came to mind). "I thought that...well, that Toffee or maybe Ludo..."

 

 Her voice trailed off and Marco hoped she didn't notice how he winced at the look of pain that flickered in her blue eyes. Of course she would think that, especially after yesterday. He hesitantly sat up, grimacing at how his t-shirt clung to his damp form. He really needed to change; this was gross.

 

 "It was just a nightmare, Star. I'm sorry for waking you up."

 

 The blonde sent him a weak smile. "It's okay. I guess I'm just a bit jumpy because of...what happened."

 

 Marco returned the half-hearted look of reassurance, feeling a bit dumb for freaking out over a silly nightmare when Star must have been worried to death yesterday. After all, _she_ was the one who had had to storm that castle to find him and tried to take on all of those monsters - just because that creep Toffee had wanted her to destroy her wand. If anything, he should have been comforting _her_.

 

 Then again she was always the stronger one of the two friends. It was no wonder that she seemed to be holding up just fine compared to him.

 

 "I don't blame you. Hey, it's - " Marco glanced at his clock and yawned a bit louder than he intended as he did so " - only eight o'clock in the morning. Want to make some nachos and watch bad movies until my parents get up?"

 

 Star stared at him for a minute before allowing a small smile to spread across her heart-stamped cheeks.

 

 "Yeah. Why not?"

 

 That was where the Diaz's found the two teenagers hours later, both sprawled next to each other on the couch watching some corny movie about a dog and a pigeon. Neither mentioned the nightmares and the unspoken words hung in the atmosphere. While the tension wasn't as high as it had been before, the lingering sense that everything wasn't quite right didn't fade throughout the rest of the day.

 

~8~*~8~*~8~*~8~*~8~

 

 She didn't blame him. She didn't blame him for any of it.

 

 And despite what Star was sure he thought, she didn't regret giving up her wand even if it had been brief. She hadn't tested her new wand out yet since her mom had returned it...and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

 

 The blackened half of the magical instrument seemed to be mocking her, cold and heavy in her hands.

 

 The princess sighed and set aside the wand as she blew a few stray strands of her messy blonde hair out of her eyes. With a glance at the alarm clock she saw that it was almost midnight. How long had she been sitting here? How long had she been thinking about...the other day?

 

 (Did she really want the answer to that?)

 

 Star stood up from where she sat on her bed and headed to the kitchen, rubbing her aching eyes. Maybe just a drink of water and then she would brave whatever her dreams held. She wasn't ready to head back to bed just yet. Star hesitated before allowing her finger to flip the light switch on at the bottom. The kitchen seemed so empty and quiet without the life it usually held in the morning, especially right before she and Marco went to school. Not even when Marco had gone missing recently thanks to Toffee had she thought of the room as silent. Not when his parents had been so worried, when she had been internally having a heart attack because _he was gone and it was all her fault and Marco probably hated her for this and if she had just been paying attention none of this would have happened -_

 

 She really needed to take her mind off of depressing things such as this.

 

 Moving to the fridge, the blonde got a glass of water and left the kitchen as soon as she finished, wiping the back of her hand across her lips. Her mom would have had a conniption if she had seen that action. Star almost laughed at the idea of her mom scolding her over doing such a "disgusting and improper" thing (mostly because she knew it was more than likely to happen).

 

 As she turned to trudge back up the stairs, a small creak grabbed her attention and she whipped around faster than she had intended. Her wand was already out and ready to fire the first offensive spell that came to mind, her hands tightly gripping the base.

 

 Of course once she saw who it was, she felt more than a little bit sheepish and fought the urge to cringe visibly. Star lowered her wand slowly, adamantly pretending that she was not flaming red in the face right now. Okay, so maybe she was a _teensy tiny bit_ jumpy...

 

 "Are you alright?" Marco inquired, an eyebrow raising the longer they stood frozen where they were. It didn't escape the girl's notice that there were slight bags under her friend's eyes, nor did she not observe the slumping posture. She clearly wasn't the only one who was dealing with something at the moment. She wanted to smack herself in the face with a hex when she realized she had totally forgotten about the fact that her friend had had a nightmare just last night. No wonder he looked so tired.

 

 "Um, yeah. Just...getting some water." Star waved weakly in the direction of the sink where her glass now rested, emptied of its contents.

 

 The boy nodded in understanding. "Oh."

 

 Silence ensued, involving awkward thin smiles and fidgeting on both sides. Neither teen enjoyed the ice forming between them but were uncertain what to say to break it.

 

 "Did I wake you?" Star asked after a few moments. She tried not to look conspicuous as she studied her best friend further, dread pouring itself into her heart as she noted the twitch to his eye at the mention of sleep. Although she didn't quite get why he glanced at the walls before replying.

 

 "No. I couldn't sleep anyway." The brunette swallowed and eyed her for a second. He opened his mouth as if to say something but appeared to think better of it moments after, shaking his head vigorously. "I...well, goodnight, Star."

 

 Star replied in a much softer tone, almost incomprehensible, her blue eyes never leaving Marco's form until long after he vanished up the stairs. His bedroom door shut gently and she allowed a frown to stretch across her face. She leaned against the counter, biting her lower lip hard between her teeth.

 

 He wasn't avoiding sleeping because of what happened last night, was he? She hoped not.

 

 (Though she wouldn't put it past him if the nightmares were anything like the ones she had been having.)

 

~8~*~8~*~8~*~8~*~8~

 

 It had been a week. His nightmares had yet to pass and Star had barely spoken to him about the incident with Toffee and the wand. The usual monster attacks, which had been nearly daily up until recently, hadn't occurred once so far and thus didn't provide him with a distraction from the tense atmosphere hanging over the Diaz household. His parents were beginning to wonder if there was something going on between the two teens, though both were quick to shrug off their concerns with falsely cheery smiles.

 

 Seeing his best friend acting so gloomy and more jumpy than usual around Earth objects was starting to get to him. He didn't know if it was because of what had happened or if it had to do with him, but she was less talkative and almost subdued in his presence. It seemed like her mind was a million miles away sometimes. Marco was tempted to ask where her head was half the time but he knew that would rude and Star had assured him many a time before that she could handle herself.

 

 This wasn't like the usual monster altercations, however.

 

 Marco refused to sleep. If he did, he ended up dreaming back in that glass box, the walls closing in rapidly as he desperately made to shove them back into place. It always grew harder and harder to breathe, almost like the nightmare was sensing his paralyzing fear and amplifying it on purpose by having the ceiling come crashing down upon him faster each night. The weight always felt so real and it wasn't too far off from how it had felt that night he had been taken; he often awoke drenched entirely in sweat and shaking violently. Sometimes he could swear that he heard Toffee mocking him and Star, whose voice was usually condescending in regards to her friend whenever she spoke. He knew she didn't mean what she had said, that she wouldn't have come after him and taken down that whole castle if she hadn't cared about her best friend.

 

 He knew that.

 

 Of course, that didn't mean that her words didn't sting like paper cuts still.

 

 He was laying on his back upon his mattress, the blankets strewn off of his form as he ran his hands through his sweat-soaked hair. Marco had fallen asleep for what had only been an hour before the nightmare had struck. This one was more suffocating than the others, the enclosed area pressing upon him almost immediately after he opened his eyes. He had thought for sure that he was going to die right then and there before he ended up springing awake. The sheets around his body were gross now, stained with the sweat he had given off while sleeping, and he wrinkled his nose at the thought of his mother coming in to see this.

 

 Yeah, that was _not_ an option. Not after that one year where he had wet his bed every month.

 

 Marco grimaced as he got up. It was only a little past one but it felt like he had been up for ages. Even worse, he was wide awake on a _Saturday_. He almost regretted waking up so soon. The boy tugged the stained sheets off his bed, making certain that he was pulling the ones that needed to be replaced before balling them up in his arms with difficulty. The large wad of smelly bed sheets in his arms only caused his nostrils to flare in annoyance and disgust before he managed to get the door open.

 

 Thankfully, no one was awake to see him putting away the dirty bed sheets so he made it to the laundry room without incident. Marco silently congratulated himself on being productive so early in the morning and snorted when he grabbed new sheets to put on from the linen closet. "Well done on fixing that little issue," he murmured quietly as he filled his arms with fabric once more.

 

 Right as he was about to pass his friend's door, he heard a soft sound that tore at his heartstrings. Marco froze right where he was, hardly daring to breathe.

 

 Why was Star up? And why was she...was she crying?

 

 Forgetting entirely what he had been about to do before this very instant, the teenager hurried to her door and opened it the best he could with the sheets in his hands. He hadn't meant to startle the blonde but she nearly fell off the bed in surprise, quickly reaching for her wand on the mattress nearby. Realizing she couldn't see his face, Marco poked his head around the mass of linens and said, "Star, it's okay! It's just me!"

 

 It took Star a moment or two of staring at him before she seemed to realize what she'd almost done and her expression crumbled. His own heart sank to his toes as he saw even in the dark that she had indeed been crying, though not a lot. He rarely ever saw his best friend cry and whenever she did, it was usually due to something awful happening.

 

 "O-Oh. Hey, Marco. Wh-What's with the sheets?"

 

 Marco shifted the weight in his hands for a second, closing the door inconspicuously with his foot. "Uh, I was...changing my bed sheets."

 

 "And you brought them into my room?" Now she looked confused and rightfully so.

 

 "Well, yes - uh, no. That's not why I..." Marco groaned under his breath. "I kind of forgot I had them when I came in here. I just...I thought you needed something."

 

 Both teens glanced away from one another, faces burning out of mutual embarrassment. What had he been thinking, just barging in here? It was one in the morning and Star clearly didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering her. He hadn't wanted to make her feel bad.

 

 He was debating heading back out when he heard an inconceivably small voice, one that _couldn't_ belong to Star Butterfly whisper, "I had a bad dream, that's all. About...last week. It's silly."

 

 "It's not silly if you're upset about it," Marco found himself saying, moving closer as he turned his head back to his friend. He wanted to kick himself for responding like that but the words were already out of his mouth.

 

 Star's lips twitched although he wasn't positive that they were trying to form a smile. "Yeah. I guess you're right." Her eyes fell to her hands which were resting in her lap, then to the wand lying inches from her fingertips. A dark haze spread over her expression and the boy knew that he didn't like it one bit.

 

 "Do you...? I mean, you don't have to! Just... If you _want_ to..." He nearly kicked himself for real when Star looked up at him again, this time out of bewilderment. They shouldn't be acting so tense around one another. They were best friends, they had fought monsters countless times and saved each other's butts even more than that. It shouldn't be this hard to ask if she needed any help with simple nightmares.

 

 With a deep breath, Marco started again in a calmer tone. "Do you want to talk about it? It might help."

 

 The magical princess studied him for a couple of long moments, an unreadable gleam in her eyes. She nodded swiftly once she appeared to have made up her mind and he took that as his cue to head on over. Marco dropped the bed sheets unceremoniously beside him and turned to his best friend as he sat down. She allowed a small smile to grace her lips at the sight of the messy pile on her bed before biting onto her lower lip and glancing back at the brunette.

 

 "It's not a daily thing," Star began, rubbing her elbow almost anxiously. "Sometimes I don't remember what I dream about. And they're not usually too bad, just little things like everything exploding or my wand going dark... But then that little unicorn came back and everything I heard..." She shut her eyes, breathing in deeply as she reopened them and looked back at Marco. "Except this time it was telling me that I was a horrible person for what I said, for everything that happened, for letting you get taken. The worst part is that the unicorn wasn't _wrong._ It was _my_ fault that you got kidnapped by that stupid Toffee. It was all _my_ fault that you had to deal with him and those goons while I was still here and _didn't think to check on you_. I should have been more careful and thought about your feelings - "

 

 "Don't."

 

 Star's eyes grew wide as she gawked at Marco, who hated how tears were glistening in those blue pools already. His throat felt dry the longer he stared into them and he shook his head at the girl.

 

 "Star, it wasn't your fault. Toffee just chose a bad time to come after us. We weren't prepared and neither of us knew who we were up against."

 

 "But he came after _you_ , Marco!" He jerked back at the sudden volume in her voice. His friend was suddenly gripping his shoulders tight, expression pleading with him to understand what she was attempting to convey. "He captured you and he _almost killed you!_ What if I hadn't come in time? What if he had decided not to wait until I got there? All because of me and my dumb wand, he could have hurt you. You're my best friend and I should have done something the moment he nabbed you!"

 

 "Then it's his fault, not yours," Marco argued back, quieting her with his hand when she tried to protest. "He was the one who did this, but he's gone now, Star. It's okay. I'm fine and we're both here and alive. See?" He gestured to the two of them, her hands still gripping his shoulders hard as he did so.

 

 She shook her head miserably and uttered a noise of frustration. "Are we? _Are we okay?_ We're both having night terrors - don't look at me like that, I was there that first night - and we haven't been able to talk about any of this in a week! This is bigger than losing the wand, Marco! We could have gotten hurt, we could have died!"

 

 The brunette gazed at her for a moment as tears spilled down her cheeks, not seeing how he himself was trembling slightly. Memories of being crushed by a glass ceiling as he watched his best friend destroy the one source of magical power she had - just so she could save _him_ , but he wasn't worth a magical wand, he really wasn't - flooded his brain and the next thing he knew, Marco was burying his face in Star's shoulder as he pulled her into a hug.

 

 They could have died. He had nearly died. Star could have died trying to rescue him.

 

 It was as if the space around them grew smaller all of a sudden. He found that it was difficult to breathe properly and he was acutely aware of Star clinging to him just as tightly as he was to her. She seemed so real and solid, so _grounding._ She wasn't trying to squash him flat over a wand, wasn't trying to suffocate him. She was just as scared as he was even now.

 

 Marco didn't want to be scared anymore.

 

 "I - I didn't mean what I said before, Marco. You're my best friend. You know that, right?"

 

 He felt an ache deep in his chest as he chuckled hollowly into her shoulder. "I know. You're my best friend too. And best friends talk about this sort of thing and forgive each other instead of worrying."

 

 Star laughed quietly. "Yeah, they do."

 

 "I think we need to stop being stupid and move on from this."

 

 "As your best friend, I approve of this motion."

 

 Marco snorted as they shifted in their embrace. Neither teen was ready to let go so soon. Still, it definitely felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of their chests, floating away into the atmosphere for now.

 

 "Star?"

 

 "Yes?"

 

 "My... My night terrors..."

 

 She tensed up as she realized where he was going with this. "Marco, you don't have to tell - "

 

 "I dream of those glass walls crushing me every time I close my eyes. That's why I was changing my bed sheets."

 

 "You put your sweaty sheets on my bed?" Star sprang away and he found a laugh escaping his throat as he rubbed his tired eyes. "Aw, _Marco!_ Marco - !"

 

 "They're clean, silly." He pushed her playfully off the bed and she stuck out her tongue at him. Marco snickered, yet he still held out a hand to help her back up. "The other ones are in the wash now."

 

 "That's still kind of gross." Despite her tone, he could see from the look in her eyes that she was trying to convey a reassurance similar to the one he had given her not too long before. He smiled gently and let her hug him again. "We're messes, aren't we?"

 

 The boy snorted. "The biggest."

 

 "I guess that means we'll just have to help each other clean up, then," Star told him in a softer voice as she pulled away so they were sitting beside one another on her bed once more.

 

 "Absolutely."

 

 "Starting with your bed sheets."


End file.
